Pass my puffer; I’m having an asthma attack (Unngh!)
Walking to my ride at the bicycle rack (Unngh!)
Toting around my book filled back-pack (Unngh!)”
Wow. Justin Timberlake would be so proud. I bet if he read this, he’d recruit me to be a writer for his protégés at his new label. NOT!
Okay in all seriousness, Tall-Guy mentions that I need to update my previous list of “Geek Categories”. I don’t know why, but he really does seem to have an affinity for that old entry. I think it’s funny that every time I seem to start blogging again, Tall-Guy always tells me to bring up the old entry and either repost or redo.
Well, seeing as how I don’t have much to write about today, I figured ‘Why the hell not?’ Anyway, for entertainment purposes, I’m not going to just ‘copy and paste’ the old entry onto this new blog. I’m actually going to make it better.
So here is the old entry in its new form.
Geek is described as:
1. An unfashionable or socially inept person
2. A person with an eccentric devotion or particular interest, or
3. A carnival performer who does wild or disgusting acts.
Okay so number 1 can apply to the type of geek I’m thinking of; a definite yes for number 2; but number 3, that is just plain creepy, and makes me wonder do carnivals even exist anymore? Aren’t they very un-P.C.? I mean you wouldn’t go and point and laugh at a bearded lady now would you; and think that it is a perfectly acceptable thing to do? That would be very wrong. Oh whom am I kidding? Yeah you would, and I’d be standing right there beside you… Laughing with you…Pointing with you...At my mom.
Oh wow. But I digress. So onward with the topic at hand: Geeks! Geeks, in my opinion, are those loveable (some of them anyway), quirky, funny, people that are so different from the average Joe that you can’t seem to keep yourself away from them. Now, I don’t know why, but geeks tend to be looked down upon by society. I think it’s primarily because of the fact that their difference and uniqueness are so left field that the normal folks can’t seem to handle the geek’s ferocious exclusivity. Oh well… Their loss. Now on with the show!
Alpha Geeks – In order to explain the type of geek the Alphas are; I shall use an example, i.e. my dad. If we look at him, it’s clear to see that he embodies what an Alpha Geek is. Appearance wise, my father is skinny, where’s glasses, short, wears a comb-over, and still rocks his outfits from the 80’s. Intellect wise, well really, let’s just say that he knows a lot. So if you can picture him in your head, it’s really no wonder how he ended up with a bearded lady. I jest.
But really being an Alpha is more than just how a geek looks. In a lot of ways, being an alpha is sort of like being a nerd, except with some weirdo quirk qualities. Again, my father is quite smart (nerd) but strictly obsessed with cleaning appliances, slot machines, and polishing his shoes (geek). Hence why he is an Alpha – a nerd with personality. Just like Cheese-Whiz!
Beta Geeks - Beta Geeks are the cuter, younger siblings of the Alphas.
Not literally.
Well maybe; especially if you have a sibling and they are distinctly Alphas, and you are the cuter and younger sibling. Haw! But really, I consider Betas to be just as smart as Alphas but more socially aware of society’s principles (So they look like normal people, take daily showers, etc. etc.).
A lot of the all-around-smart-guys can be found here. Like for example, my buddy Mr.Sake, he’s a very knowledgeable fellow, but at the same time, he’s kinda cool. Mr. Sake has an incredible talent of conversing with people, even with hot chicks. Where I am a stuttering fool, he’s very smooth and can carry on till the cows come home; only problem is he fully can’t (or won’t) take it to the next level because he (or so he says) doesn’t even know what he’s doing. It’s kind of like watching a rocket ship getting ready for blast off, with all the fire, smoke and vibrations in the air, and then it just stops. It leaves you wondering what the heck happened.
So yeah, Betas are Alphas, but with more social know-how (of sorts).
Jock Geek – Do you remember in high school during lunchtime when you can basically label what table belonged to what clique? I do. I distinctly remember my table, THE GEEK TABLE being situated right beside the special-ed students because no one else wanted to sit beside them. Oh the sweet memories…
So what was I getting at? Oh yes. I have another buddy, Tall-Paul, who could basically travel between the jock table and ours. Why? It’s because he is a Jock Geek-- an exceptionally intelligent (he’s an engineer now) person, who is athletically inclined (he played baseball, and golf). But don’t get me wrong, Jock Geeks do more than just play sports, they actually know the sport. It’s what separates the Meatheads from the Jock Geeks. Jock Geeks are basically the ones who read up on athlete stats, the sport section, and watch sport programs. They know the sports to a T. They’re almost as good as Wikipedia.
Art Geeks – So what’s the difference between Monet and Manet? What about chardonnay or pinot grigiot? Bachata and merengue? Oh, you don’t know? Damn! You need to get some culture in you – hang out with an Art Geek!
We’ve all come across these guys at some point in our lives, and the thing about it is, once you’ve seen one, you immediately know that they’re Art Geeks. Art Geeks, like cheese, come in a variety of flavours. From Drama Divas, to Couture Chefs, to Pencil/Paint Pushers to Musical Masters to Dancing Daredevils -- all these Art Geeks are impassioned about their chosen forms. And just like the Jock Geeks, they can practically name the masters of their chosen field.
The sad thing about this group is the fact that slowly but surely, they are going extinct. It seems that although not everyone can draw, sing or create; give them the computer and they become artists. So a note to remember: It takes raw talent to be an Art Geek; you don’t become one, but rather, you are born one.
Tech Geeks – When I say the word “Wow”, what comes to mind? Do you think of the expression for excitement or surprise? Or do you think of the world-dominating role-playing video game otherwise known as ‘World of Warcraft’? If it’s the latter, then it’s quite possible that you are a Tech Geek.
Tech Geeks, just as the name states, are into technology – all aspects of it. From computers to machines, software to hardware, Tech Geeks inhale and live by these things. The funny thing about these Tech Geeks is that they seem to congregate in certain places all the time. And we don’t even see it happening. Take for example, Best Buy. That place only hires Tech Geeks. And have you ever seen when Tech Geeks meet each other? It’s like someone threw a grenade into a room full of babies. The result is an utter mess that only the guilty parties involved would enjoy. I have a few friends who are very much Tech Geeks. When they get started on their usual talk of computers, I have to make sure that I am not in the vicinity. The talk first starts off slow and quiet, and then excitement takes over and the Tech Geeks are basically yelling at each other debating who has a better operating system, Mac or Microsoft? It’s basically a pissing contest. Except without the exposure of genitalia or the wetness involved with peeing. So it’s sort of a good thing. Sort of.
Hobby Geeks – Have you ever met a person who has a room in their house dedicated to scrap booking? (Yes. I said scrap booking.) No? Well I have. And they’re nuts! Not in a crazy I’m-gonna-rape-you-through-your-eye-socket-crazy, but rather they are so into their hobby, their whole entire life has been taking over by it. I was once a Hobby-Geek; I collected crazy amounts of comic books and I would haul them with me everywhere I’d go. I couldn’t leave them at home. I was like the parent and the comic books were my newly born babies. It was sad, at one point in my life, I decided that the comic books were far more important than the lives of my family. If there was a fire, the comic books would be saved and my parents left to burn. Anyway I eventually stopped collecting the books. They were getting more and more expensive and I couldn’t afford them anymore.
I was sad.
Movie Geeks – These geeks are sometimes called “cinephiles”, but I don’t really enjoy using that word since it sounds dirty and wrong. Basically these types of geeks are into theatre and film. (Don’t get them confused with the Drama Divas mentioned in the Art Geek section, because they are completely different – although Drama Divas, could as well have a small percentage of being a Movie Geek or vice-versa. Example: Quentin Tarantino). When I say Movie Geek, I’m referring to the Roger Eberts of this world. They’re not necessarily actors or directors but they are in the business of theatre and film and these people know their shit. They can recall on certain films and explain to you the symbolism of that one certain scene, how it reflected what is going on in the director’s mind or give you the back-story involved in the production of the film or play. I like talking to Movie Geeks, I think they’re full of random unimportant facts! And that’s the best kind!
Freaky Geeks - Hmm… I’m trying to find ways to describe this one without getting too vulgar and dirty. Unless of course you’re into that; then you should definitely give me a call. Especially if you’re a hot sexy librarian type chick, who is all mature and intelligent, but once the glasses comes off, you turn into a voracious, hungry and wild love making machine. Oooooh yeah. Definitely give me a call. (I’m a creeper!)
LOL. Freaky Geeks. “The name says it all”.
Anyway, that’s all I got for now. I’m sure that there’s a lot more out there, but this entry is kinda getting ridonculously long. Maybe I’ll continue it at another time.
So cheers for now!
Update: May 25 is Geek Day in Spain! They should definitely do that in Canada!
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